Sex

No, silly. This is a family blog. Although that cheap old headlining trick has gotten your attention.

Of course, even if this is a family blog, you have access to plenty of smut on your television, at least if you believe Alaska senator and nominal Republican Ted Stevens, chairman of the Commerce Committee. Be not afraid (of filth on TV), however. The senator might be willing to do something about it.

The real question is, what is it that's offending us? Setting aside for the moment aberrations like Janet's "wardrobe malfunction" (what a terrific phrase!) or the flap over that "Desperate Housewives" NFL ad, my Cranky Sense is that TV, even on cable, is already pretty clean. Sure, there's plenty of late-night filth on HBO and Cinemax, but that comes at a time when the children of parents responsible enough to use blocking technologies will be in bed already anyway.

So what, precisely, are we trying to clean up? If Congress succeeds in raising the limits on indecency fines, we'll discover that Janet Jackson will start conducting more careful interviews for prospective costume designers. Can we ask for anything more?

And how much will any new solution cost? Because we'll pay for it in higher cable and satellite bills.